As I am learning to live in more freedom I keep uncovering how the things the external world has been telling me to live by are so unhelpful. Thankfully, I largely escaped the scripts of consumerism due to my parents and the church, but even so I inherited a different set of destructive scripts, which in some ways have been harder to take apart as there are less people I can turn to who are able to relate to them.
As I take apart the "Charismatic Evangelical Christian" script I have to suffer criticism from those who still have a vested interest in maintaining control over those they are meant to be shepherding. Control is one of the ugliest blemishes on the bride of Christ, and yet those who maintain the controlling interest are largely unaware of their stance - their egos are well defended with a theology that allows them to continue in the place of their ancestors the Pharisees.
The lack of honest dialog about this issue grieves me especially as focus is diverted off subject into issues of modernism, post-modernism, inerrancy, creation, church, preaching, missional community and so on. It's like as long as all sides are happy to argue the toss about these issues then no-one has to embrace humility. I'm sick of it. And sadly I am criticised for being sick of it. One day I'll be strong enough that the criticism won't stick, but at the moment my buttons get pressed far too easily and I cannot cope with being in a church without feeling constantly bashed.
Healing is arriving, and I have hope, but it still saddens me that there generally is such a lack of awareness and sensitivity to the issue of control within the church community.
3 comments:
Omigosh, DM.
You have put my mind into words far better than I have. I don't know whether to be encouraged that I'm not the only one, or heartbroken that this can be happening in more than one place.
Having been in leadership (until a recent leave of absence), I've found the fortress of pastoral ego to be an impenetrable barrier, not only to a functional model of relationship, but to any credible presentation of Christ. And the ones who suffer are the ones who need that message the most.
The response to my concern...well, bashed doesn't begin to describe it. Smeared is more like it. The whisper campaign is used here much like the government "leaks" information that it doesn't want to be officially tied to.
Meanwhile, the message has been subverted by everyone with an agenda, and Jesus is nothing more than a conservative republican who came to seek and to save the ten commandments and all nativities from being removed from public property. Oh, and He just HATES homosexuals and those abortion people.
This cannot possibly be what Christ intended.
Dorsey... as Carl Tutle used to say... people do people stuff, pastors are people and so pastors also do people stuff..
It is ugly, it is sin, it is prevalent and I think (and hope) largely unconcious but as Jung pointed out we are controlled by that which isn't brought into concious awareness...
Ngaire Thomas has written a book on the more extreme spectrum of this issue. See Alan Jamieson's blog - see new blog entry in thoughtful as the link doesn't paste here properly.
DM
Jeff... I can't do justice to your question quickly so I will reflect some more and probably respond in a blog entry... take care friend... peace DM
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