My fear of sex eduction

A while ago I did a coaching weekend with Adrian Gilpin of the Institute of Human Development which I thoroughly enjoyed and have found very useful. He introduced me to Tony Robbins, the Enneagram and the Sedona Method as well as some great books, and quotes from people past.

One of the points he made was how different we all are and illustrated this by a game. When the Institute were running conferences they would get everybody to gather in groups of ten. Each group of ten people would choose a single word for the group, either "sex" or "education". Each individual person in the group would write down ten words that they associate with the group's single word. When everybody had written down their ten words the group would compare notes and make a list of any word that appeared on *all* ten peoples list. All the results of the groups were collated for the conference.

The question is what was the largest number of words that a group had in common? The answer surprised me. Over the number of years and the tens of thousands of people they never had any group with a single word in common!!!

My fear of sex education is this that the Church is so uniform that it might score higher than the average coaching seminar audience.

Would anybody be up for trying this game?

Who's responsible to fix up my life?

Me or you?

Ah, you say it's me.

Hmmm, that's interesting.

So tell me, if it’s me then why the heck is your love so flipping conditional and why on earth do you expend so much effort trying to reform me?

Don't you think that just maybe you might be being a little inconsistent here - maybe you might have one or two tiny issues of control?

I dunno. What do you think?

Be a Better Man

I love this song by Robbie Williams:

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame

Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man

Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around

I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain

Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time

As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man

As I listen to those words I feel that God has already answered my prayer. I have those arms and they provide comfort in times of anxiety and discomfort - they allow me to move on and "be a better man".

Sometimes I wonder what the Gospel is all about. When you examine its essence, reconnection with God, His creation and our fellow man for sure. However although I know I need to walk a life of faith in God in order to be able to connect to Him, presently I’m not convinced that the only way that life can be accessed is through the story in the New Testament. Sometimes it just doesn’t resonate.

The idea that I have an insurmountable problem of missing-the-mark in terms of connecting with God just doesn’t ring true for me. Yes I need to live a life of faith like Abraham but the supporting evidence of my depravity such that I cannot access that life without the sacrifice of the Christ seems, frankly, made up, a self-referential control system, a myth taken out of context.

I can see that for some that the idea of the substitution of Christ for them might lead them to a life of faith but it’s just not the only way. I just don’t buy into the idea of a metaphysical transaction. It doesn’t ring resonate with anything else in my life. So I question its validity. It strikes me that to make that myth exclusive might lead to a close-minded and ultimately legalistic system unable to impact humanity effectively to bring about the Kingdom of God. Oh that sounds familiar doesn’t it?

So I am left wondering if the “Gospel” actually adds anything to the honest pursuit to “be a better man”. I don't know. At this point in time I just don't know.

Lust for Power II

I’m presently figuring out what church means to me. I went out the other day with some Christian friends. We had a lovely time just living life together for an evening – very in the moment. Something I have time and energy for.

Also we’re figuring out where to live. I remember admonitions from pastors that you *should* consider what church you’re going to go to when you move. Something that in the past was high on my priority list.

So thinking of moving somewhere else and enjoying the community of believers I was wondering about my long lost ambition of church planting – going somewhere and forming a community of believers – a community of love.

I remember the folks that used to attend church planting conferences. It always seemed about taking the city for Christ , or making an impact – the means was love, the end was selfish ambition.

No interest.

I wonder, would it be possible to form a community that grows in relationship and love letting go of the arrogant lust for power that destroys the very kingdom that we would like to build?

At the moment, here and now, I just wonder.

Psycho Mumble

Well this kinda looked fun... and not a bad match... thanks to Jase for the link...

Gospel of authenticity

Another of my Gospels, and one that promises freedom to an achievement oriented personality (see Enneagram type Three).

Basically my whole life has been impacted by my need to please people to avoid being shamed by them and the belief that I can better myself. Similar ideas, however one flows out of wholeness and the other out of brokenness.

The awful thing is that the growth from the bettering yourself is used by the avoid shame mechanism. See http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/d/3.asp about 5/8th of the way down under "The Levels Of Development" for a fuller description.

So you become a slave to your own success. :o(

The only way out of this loop is to embrace authenticity - to be totally transparent. You can then be all you can be and not be a slave to your success. People know where they stand with you.

Redemption by deliberate character transformation. Hmmm. Has anyone said this before?

Lust of Power

A while ago I went to a meeting mainly of Christian leaders talking about new forms of Church. The speakers’ subject was on their experiences of doing missionary work in a Hindu and Muslim context – one of them was Indian himself – a very humble man. I really enjoyed the personalities and characters of the speakers – their love if you like.

At a couple of points we had the chance to dialog in smaller groups. I was horrified at the amount of arrogance and need for control that many people exuded. Many appeared concerned with building their own kingdoms, lusting after their goals, and willing to prostitute themselves to get their way.

These judgements could be the projection of my own arrogance and control issues of which I certainly have had my share so for the moment so I’ll keep the assertion that these things are my perception at this point in time.

However it does strike me out of the three lusts mentioned by St John (Money, Sex & Power) that the lust of power is the weak point in the awareness of a closed minded culture. It saddens me that it is so prevalent and yet could so easily be dealt with.

In epilogue I add that I am aware how judgemental these words could seem but that judgement is not my intention. I don’t see missing the mark as wrongness to be punished but as limitation to be set free from. If I had no effective way of dealing with the limiting emotions myself then I would just accept things as they are, but I have a way and I feel therefore that I may simply try to observe without passing judgement. As someone once said “All I want is your honest reflection and partially formed opinion even as I give mine”. I concur.

Some point in your life

At some point in life you realise that the external world doesn't change depending on how you are feeling. As you relax, your awareness expands, you realise that who you are and how you behave is down to your own choice and the momentum of those choices. You unterstand that you allowed yourself to be conditioned by your environment and that sometimes you had to go along with it as otherwise it would have been very painful however you realise that once the external pressure is gone you are free to change to be who you want to be. You also realise that sometimes bearing short term pain is worth the long term gain and you realise that you are master of your own destiny. At some point in your life all this may become clear.

Searching the Scriptures

You diligently study the Scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life.

Have you ever wondered if it is possible to diligently study too much?

Have you ever really thought about the implications of that answer?

Have you ever readjusted your sails in response?

It's a just thought, only a thought.

Religious Monopoly

Could we allow ourselves to feel what it would be like to land on the square that says "Go straight to Hell, do not pass Go and do not collect £200", all on the, apparent, roll of a dice?

Would we entertain the possibility of empathising with those who have lived as if this were true?

When will we allow ourselves to be softened by the revelation that abuse is real, painful, a family secret and denied by the Christian community?

Why Christianity?

I was thinking about my life this morning. My feelings of pain and desolation and my determination to build a good life here on Earth as it is in Heaven. I don't fully understand what it is about contemporary Christianity that seems to miss the mark and why it is so hard to find a goal to shoot for but I hope that by putting my shoulder to the plow with the Creator I might just be able to starting building that which I hope for and express in the Lord's prayer. "Your Kingdom come, your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven." Amen and Amen.