Welcome to emergent folks

Judging from my stats I suspect we're getting some extra emergent traffic here. So welcome you guys. Feel free to hang out if you wish. Acceptance and peace DM

Disadvantage of Inerrancy #2

It makes it easier for a leader to defend their own abusive position as God's name is the ultimate authority to call upon.

Sadly the reformation didn't completely solve abuse of power it just merely made it easier for more people to abuse the power. A step in the right direction in my mind but we need even more equality.

Post-colonialism

As I reflect on some new kind of conversations I am struck that the mind that maintains a colonial perspective also maintains a colonial God who imparts a colonial imperative.


From dictionary.com:

colonialism
n : exploitation by a stronger country of weaker one; the use of the weaker country's resources to strengthen and enrich the stronger country

imperative
adj.
1. Expressing a command...

Are we trying to make the world disgustingly salty?

It just struck me that if we are meant to be salt then we are meant influence the flavour in a distinct but subtle, important but not overpowering way. But we want to impose our views everywhere. We want to control everything. Maybe the religousosity that we condem is merely our own attempt to be too salty. Yuck!!!

Disadvantage of Inerrancy #1

The doctrine of inerrancy discourages us to consider Jeremiah's writing style so we miss the fact that he was one of the great authors of all history, up there with Homer and Shakespeare.

Love yourself as your neighbour (or another new direction)

I think Jesus had incredible insight into our inability to spin many different plates at the same time in his famous statement "Love yourself as your neighbour." I admire his perception that we find it hard to multitask - hey maybe that's why he came as a man?. So rather than giving us two tasks he reduced it to one. Rather than a task of hate and love he kindly reduced it to just to love. So he set us free from the religious requirement to hate ourselves and love our neighbour by giving us permission to merely love all. I like him. He's my kind of task master.

Bananarama

Sometimes I observe people spending more attention on what they say than the way they say it.

Sometimes I wonder if those people consider that what Jesus had to say was more important than the way he said it.

Sometimes I think that what is said conveys less meaning than the way it is said.

Unashamed Plagiarism

Bruce D wrote the following on Eddies blog. I just wanted to preserve it as I agree with it so much.

Sometimes, I think the whole "God's wrath aimed at the cross" thing is God satisfying a need (or expectation) in us, not in himself. No matter what the truth was, he knew that we thought we deserved to die for our inability to measure up (again, our perception, not his). So, he gave us what we wanted, his wrath. But instead of directing it at us, he directed it on himself. Still it satisfied the need we had for "something" to be done to "somebody".

It's like he said, "ok, I'll play your game, You all are so convinced that I should be angry at you, and should judge you and sentence you... I'll give you what you want. You will see my wrath. BANG!!! There... see it? Now get over yourselves, and understand that I am not angry at you! I love you so much that I am willing to give you what you want... only aim it at myself. Do you understand yet?"

From Mollifying ill-willed gods

Know Thyself

Mike Yaconelli put it this way: "The me who is reflected in this column is not me. The you reflected in your written response to this column is not you. We are all edited selves -- Reader's Digest versions of our real selves. These huge gaps in our knowing one another allow us to form opinions which are always incomplete and always inaccurate."

My job I guess is to make sure that I communicate who I am and listen carefully to who others are.

So what's next?

I am beginning to ask myself this question and I think I am hearing others ask it. I've left church now but it has left a hole. There were many good things but I couldn't cope with my buttons being pressed all the time. I was fed up with so many people inflicting their agenda on me - telling me how I ought to live. The thing that bothered me the most was when folks with no healing ministry would be teaching children to pray for one another. I'd look at the teachers and not see any faith for healing but a despiration for the supernatural. Why not for example teach the children completative prayer? Ah you can't see the results. It doesn't make you look good. Hmmmmmm.

I feel like I've been forced out of church, because the people are not aware of those issues and are pretty well defended on them. I feel silenced over the matter. It's not a valid topic of conversation with them. But it still leaves a hole.

I enjoyed the feeling of community, and deep down I have an intuitive hunger for something more. I am still left with a hole.

I could search London for a community of believers who have got it right. Maybe? I don't hold out much hope and anyway that would be being part of the problem rather than part of the solution.

I could join some friends in their expression of church.

For the moment I think I'll just ask the question. Anyone else's answers or deeper questions would are most welcome. Comments anyone?

Group therapy anyone?

"No man has greater love than this that he lay down his life for his friends"

Blogging is like group therapy... international no less... encouraging clear expression of innermost thought... submission to Other for criticism... Other reciprocating... receiving feedback - the rough with the smooth... giving feedback - the harsh with the gentle... and growth... character cultivates... a gift to those around... friends, best friends, family, children, lover, spouse, parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, communities, business partners, colleagues, mates, girls, lads... truly the greatest gift is the attended life...

Phew... I need a Retox

I can't cope with drinking and smoking anymore... anyone want to join me?

It’s all about this…

Early on in my journey of therapy and personal development I realised that I could be happy and sad at the same time. I realised that they weren’t opposites on two ends of a sliding scale.

I don’t know whether my prior perspective is a Christian thing, or a stages of faith (as in James Fowler) thing or a stages of life thing, but I notice that the idea that there is a simple truth out there is prevalent, at least amongst the Christian après blog dialog I am inclined to explore.

Now this certainly hasn’t been statistically tested and I don’t tend to read all that widely in blog-space but as I think we are meant to be all that God has called us to be I’ll aim my observations at my own family. I am wondering if by and large Christians have such a commitment to there being a truth, that they intuitively know that what is presented to them is incomplete, that they then keep searching for the answer and then every time they find a new piece of the jigsaw they then tell one another that “It is all about…” – finish the dots for yourself.

I’d be interested to hear who notices this while reading. I think it is something for me personally to be sensitive to as I know that I can respond in that enthusiastic manner and also I am aware that it portrays an immature observer, is obvious to my more mature (typically non-Christian) friends and lacks credibility that I think contributes to the decline in the faith.

Maybe it’s not all about. Maybe there are many pieces to the jigsaw and maybe there is no magical silver bullet.

Quarrel, Argument and Conversation

A couple of observations from dictionary.com:

argument (n)
1a: A discussion in which disagreement is expressed; a debate.
1b: A quarrel; a dispute.
2a: A course of reasoning aimed at demonstrating truth or falsehood: presented a careful argument for extraterrestrial life.
2b: A fact or statement put forth as proof or evidence; a reason: The current low mortgage rates are an argument for buying a house now.
2c: A set of statements in which one follows logically as a conclusion from the others.

quarrel (intr. v.)
1: To engage in a quarrel; dispute angrily.
3: To find fault; complain.

monolog (n)
2: A continuous series of jokes or comic stories delivered by one comedian.
3: A long speech made by one person, often monopolizing a conversation.

dialog (n)
1: A conversation between two or more people.

conversation (n)
1a: The spoken exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings; talk.

exchange (v. tr.)
1: To give in return for something received; trade: exchange dollars for francs; exchanging labor for room and board.
2: To give and receive reciprocally; interchange: exchange gifts; exchange ideas.

reciprocal (adj.)
2: Interchanged, given, or owed to each other: reciprocal agreements to abolish customs duties; a reciprocal invitation to lunch.

Are you still with me?

There are three on-liners who I'd like to recommend. All three are people who carry out conversation. Jeff, Jase, and Eddie.

Even more duality

*smile* you just gotta love it don't you...

I first came across duality when my university tutor showed us some thoughts of Abraham Maslow. As I remember it, Maslow's idea was that in the workplace there were satisfiers and dissatisfiers. A satisfier might be interesting work. A dissatisfier might be lack of income. The theory goes that a satisfier cannot be a dissatisfier and a dissatisfier cannot be a satisfier. So you need enough money to not be dissatisfied and you need enough interesting work to be satisfied. But you cannot compensate one with the other. So interesting work cannot balance for lack of money and money cannot balance lack of interesting work.

Whilst doing some soul work this morning I realised that I have lived my whole life trying to fill a perceived hole in my relationship with my "nurturing" figure. In all honesty I just can't fill it.

I think I may have had a false belief that I was incomplete and I suspect that if I focus on releasing the dissatisfaction rather than trying to get more satisfaction I might just find peace in this issue.

More polarity

After a recent lesson I was chatting with my Alexander Technique teacher about just how similar physical and emotional release are. To release physical tension you can allow yourself to focus on both sets of muscles in tension, either one then the other, or both simultaneously. To release emotionally you can allow yourself to be present to both sides of an issue, either one then the other or with practise both simultaneously. To get more freedom physically you can stretch both sets of muscles. To get more freedom emotionally you can embrace both sides of an issue to stretch your comfort zone.

I think it is striking how the same Central Nervous System that effects physical movement through polarity (e.g. bicep and tricep) also effects emotional response through polarity (e.g. love and hate).

Maybe it's the only way. Maybe we cannot grasp one without other. Maybe it's just the way we hold onto truth.

Where did all the polarity go?

Recently, I was working on my driving addiction to always make the most of my time using a technique where the polarities surrounding an issue and pondered. Similar to Ecclesiastes.

Can I welcome my desire to make the most of my time?
Can I welcome my resistance to making the most of my time?

Like some monkish mantra going round and round, and round and round. On the ride I began to realise that my desires aren't binary, either here or not, but they have depth and layers, and there are many and varied emotions associated with each part.

As I found freedom I also found myself feeling grateful for polarity and the ability to free mind and spirit. I also felt sad as I realised that so much Christian dialog discards the inherent polarities in truth and, in its attempt to be perfect and control and change the world, freedom is renounced and replaced with the deception of certitude.

Respect

This is just a thought that maybe someone might consider trying out sometime. When folks discuss a blog entry après, the dialog can rabbit hole all over the place. This isn't necessarily a problem but I wonder if we scored our reply on a scale of 1 to 10 for relevancy to the thread and emotional meaningfulness for ourselves what the result might be.

It bothers me when folks redirect a dialog for trivial reasons. If it is a really important topic to them I have the patience to follow awhile, however sometimes I wonder if they are just being selfishly and immaturely irrelevant posting merely to point score.

I just think it's a grave shame to waste someone else's time. Don't you?

Happening more than once

Behind Closed Doors - control at the more extreme spectrum of the issue...

Pressures of the external world

As I am learning to live in more freedom I keep uncovering how the things the external world has been telling me to live by are so unhelpful. Thankfully, I largely escaped the scripts of consumerism due to my parents and the church, but even so I inherited a different set of destructive scripts, which in some ways have been harder to take apart as there are less people I can turn to who are able to relate to them.

As I take apart the "Charismatic Evangelical Christian" script I have to suffer criticism from those who still have a vested interest in maintaining control over those they are meant to be shepherding. Control is one of the ugliest blemishes on the bride of Christ, and yet those who maintain the controlling interest are largely unaware of their stance - their egos are well defended with a theology that allows them to continue in the place of their ancestors the Pharisees.

The lack of honest dialog about this issue grieves me especially as focus is diverted off subject into issues of modernism, post-modernism, inerrancy, creation, church, preaching, missional community and so on. It's like as long as all sides are happy to argue the toss about these issues then no-one has to embrace humility. I'm sick of it. And sadly I am criticised for being sick of it. One day I'll be strong enough that the criticism won't stick, but at the moment my buttons get pressed far too easily and I cannot cope with being in a church without feeling constantly bashed.

Healing is arriving, and I have hope, but it still saddens me that there generally is such a lack of awareness and sensitivity to the issue of control within the church community.

More conversations

http://demerging.blogspot.com/2005/09/whats-deal-with-bible.html

http://demerging.blogspot.com/2005/09/there-is-therefore-now-no-condemnation.html

Relationship, awareness and ultimatum

If the Other isn't aware or in denial in a relationship you have a problem. You desire intimacy but the actions of the Other work against it. I think you are limited to three strategies:

Strategy One
Drop it. Their behaviour isn't all that destructive and you can be bigger than the situation.

Strategy Two
Communicate clearly, carefully, and considerately to change it and with a responsive Other you both win.

Strategy Three
Walk away.

Some may also say you can give an ultimatum. Personally my concern is that if you control the Other you can end up with feigned obedience - effectively destroying the relational interaction you desire as you have no way of telling their heart in the matter.