Where is your life going once you’ve defeated your inner theological demons?

The theological journey I was on is over. I needed to find a place of being where I wasn’t stressed out by the metaphysical. I am now in a place of communion with God unhindered by the Charismatic Conservative Evangelical theological system I was immersed in for the first 35 years of my life.

The comments of those still in that system no longer bother me. I don’t need to argue anymore. I know what I believe and I believe that that belief is acceptable to the great infinite and eternal.

I see the struggle of those around me trying to make sense of it all and I’ve seen a couple of people enter into a different kind of awareness on this. Eddie of Grace Unzipped is one such person. Steve of Free Thinking Faith is someone who I suspect is close. Jeff and Dorsey I don’t think have the same demons to defeat and are on a different journey. Bruce of YBMT? I think is ahead of me, as are some of the commenters here.

One thing that propelled me to this place was the compelling desire born out of pondering the above question.

So what is your answer and what is your question?

Total Heresy?

I've said this before and let me say it again. Jesus did not need to die for our sins out of any need of God but merely because our own lack of imagination rendered us unable grasp God's love for us.

I think the spiral dynamics model provides a clue as why the idea of Penal Substitution has gained so much momentum. The key is the breadth of awareness in my love. At the first stage (quests 1-3) my love is all about me – Egocentric. At the second stage I barter with you and have a sense of equality in our relationship - Ethnocentric. At the third stage I love as I want connection with you - Worldcentric. At the forth stage I love because it is who I am and it is what I do – Spiritcentric. I love love at this level.

Most of church exists at quest four – Search for Ultimate Peace – Order. In the main the churches loves in a bartering relationship – we may see evidence of this on a weekly basis.

So for me it is not surprising that a church that is principally ordered around bartering relationships projects that level of awareness onto God.

What absolutely astounds me is that Jesus loved us so much that he dies unnecessarily just to penetrate our limited quest 4 perspectives just so we could know the Father. That my friends is the real meaning of the cross.

A change of scenery

Life has been changing a lot for me. A new girlfriend. Some new focuses.

I’m not going to sign off, but I have come to an end of what I needed from interacting here. I have grown by being stretched of the process of writing and engaging with the opinions of others. I have broken through my theological limiting beliefs and have a new perspective on it all.

So that means that my focus of contribution has changed. I am more engaged with those immediately around me. And for the moment I have give up many fond attachments in order to give my best to the most important areas of life. For me this year that means:

1) ensuring that I have a clear vision and plan for the upbringing of my two boys,
2) cultivating friendship and healing in the wounds of my divorce,
3) learning to make money by trading,
4) and fully engaging and committing to having a passionate relationship.

This year is a year to grow in masculinity, spirituality and love. To give what I am on this earth to give and expand into the person who can achieve all this and more.

I have three weeks of intense personal development lined up, and some tough goals in between. For the first time in my life I am setting myself real challenges. And I am already confident that I will meet them.

My girlfriend, in the words of a mutual friend looks ridiculously amazing, she is so loving, so growing and inspires me to be more than I am. She, just by her very presence, sets me a high standard to live by. I love that profoundly.

So that means unfortunately I won’t be contributing here in the way I have. I know that I’ll be missed in the same way that I felt loss at others to had to leave this space, but I take with me into the world many gifts I was given here by other bloggers. So thank you to all. Especially Jeff, Dorsey, Eddie and Bruce. There are many others who have stretched me, and you know who you are.

Acceptance and peace to you all

DM

The quest for consciousness

Borrowed from Tony Robbins' Date With Destiny, and Spiral Dynamics by Don Edward Beck and Christopher C. Cowan.

Consciousness can be simply defined as who and what you care about consistently through time.

Quest 1 - Beige - The search for automatic physiological satisfaction - Survival / Instinct Driven
Quest 2 - Purple - The search for a safe mode of living - Tribal Order
Quest 3 - Red - The search for heroic status: power and glory - Power God
Quest 4 - Blue - The search for ultimate peace - Order & The Absolute
Quest 5 - Orange - The search for material pleasure - Striver-Driver / Achiever
Quest 6 - Green - The search for affectionate relations - Socially Conscious
Quest 7 - Yellow - The search for respect of self - Integrated / Flex Flow
Quest 8 - Turquoise - The search for peace in an incomprehensible world - An Awakened Soul

Egocentric - Beige to Red
Ethocentric - Blue to Orange
Worldcentric - Green
Spiritcentric - Yellow to Turquoise

Different parts of the personality may be on different quests. So professionally a person may be orange, red in their private life, and purple on the sports field. Under stress we tend to descend.

This strikes me as very similar to model that Alan Jamieson expounds in Churchless Faith.

Category 1 - Displaced Followers (Purple to Blue)
Category 2 - Reflective Exiles (Blue to Green)
Category 3 - Transitional Explorers (Orange to Green)
Category 4 - Integrated Way-finders (Green to Yellow)

And also to James Fowler's Stages of faith model.
Stage 1 Intuitive-Projective faith - Beige, Purple
Stage 2 Mythic-Literal faith - Purple, Red
Stage 3 Synthetic-Conventional faith - Red, Blue
Stage 4 Individuative-Reflective faith - Blue, Orange
Stage 5 Conjunctive faith - Green, Yellow
Stage 6 Sainthood - Yellow, Turquoise

Some observations to ponder. In quests 1-6 people often perceive others on different quests as the enemy, for example the conservative evangelical church (blue) sees the catholic church (purple), the church growth movement (orange), the prosperity gospel (orange), emerging church movement (green) as the enemies. You just need to surf blog space to see this in comic contrast.

At stage 7 there is recognition that the dynamics through and between the various stages is part of the growing process. Could this be the process of the seals, trumpets and bowls described in the book of revelation.

To relate this to the emergent church, I suspect that it is a Green organization, as would be postmodernism. One of the defining perspectives of Greens is their anti-structure stance which ultimately is self destructive and a Green then has to move to Yellow or remain forever ineffective. So the dynamic between different churches is necessary and we at all stages work in unison to propel each other onwards. The is perfection in the apparent imperfection.

Embarking on the different quests is the heart of discipleship. It is possible to grow. It is possible to grow faster than many imagine. It is possible to grow intentionally. This is the heart of the spiritual disciplines. We have accepted too many glass ceilings and have learned a helplessness that has infected our hearts and souls. We can be different and mature but we must stop looking to the magical to mystically transport us to sainthood. We must inhibit our desire to process skip. We must stop asking God for a free ride and engage with him on the transformation of our lives. For many this will fee like salvation or sanctification by works however the Yellow and Turquoise perspective can see the hand of God and Man intimately interrelated working together.

I'm not broken

Last night, after a good Alexander Technique lesson, it all of a sudden dawned on me that in fact I am not broken and that I don't need fixing. Ahhhhhh. Sound's obvious right but you see I've been told all my life that I am broken and do need fixing. But I now realise it is just not true. ;o)

A very hard question

God created us with a something that Christian's call the sinful nature - supposedly a destructive element of our psychology. I am wondering what was the original purpose of this part of ourselves?

A Loving Father

"One thing we do know: Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at this moment." – A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle, p41.

Wow. I had never really thought that God was THAT interested in my life.